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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26180770">wish i were</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bachovisky/pseuds/bachovisky'>bachovisky</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Thai Actor RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Kiss Kiss Fall in Love, M/M, roommate to lover, squints and you will see taynew</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:47:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,617</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26180770</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bachovisky/pseuds/bachovisky</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>why would ever kiss me, i'm not even half as pretty </p><p>off is content with his life, being lowkey in everything he do, until his roommate comes and gives him a whirlwind of emotions.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Off Jumpol Adulkittiporn/Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Falling in love can occur without anyone realizing. It could be when they are taking a bath together, laughing at each other’s hair styled by the shampoo sud or at the worst time when one is at their deathbed as another cries over the possibility of not seeing them anymore in the future.</p><p>But for Off Jumpol, he falls in love during the most mundane moment, when they are on the verge of sleep and Gun’s eyes staring at him as he tells about how he was scammed by others when trying to sell the stickers during middle school. He looks at Off like he matters, like he is telling an interesting story instead of a pathetic story on how he was scammed. It doesn’t help with how close they are now, since they have put their bed together because Gun doesn’t feel comfortable sleeping alone tonight and is slowly inching to his bed. </p><p>“P’Off?” Gun calls out softly, whispering in the dark, as if his loud voice would destroy whatever mood they have now. </p><p>Off hums questioningly, still in daze and thinking how he can get lost in Gun’s eyes, with how the moonlight reflects on his eyes and make like his eyes have sparkles like one in the anime. </p><p>“Why did you stop your story?” Gun pouts at him, eyes half open. </p><p>Feeling fond of how cute he sounds, he slowly stroke Gun’s hair. “Go to sleep. You sound sleepy enough” Off said softly. Gun blinks sleepily at him before nodding his head. He stretches his neck and pecks Off’s cheek. “G’night.” Gun slurs, with one side of his cheek squished by the pillow. He continues stroking Gun’s hair until his breathe even out with eyes close. </p><p>Sliding open his phone, he glances at the clock on his lockscreen. 1.23 am. Gun has class at 10 tomorrow (today?) and he needs an 8 hour sleep to function properly. He sleeps just in time for him to wake up at 9 and still has enough sleep. </p><p>Gun often gets anxious and has problem with his sleep whenever their mid term exam is around the corner. And this time is no different, with him pouring his concentration and focus memorizing the notes he wrote for a couple of times to further enhance his study, anxiety building in whenever he still can’t answer one of the tutorial questions. </p><p>Somehow, he always fell asleep easily whenever they put their bed together, body close to each other, to the point he can feel the warmth emitted by Gun’s body. </p><p>And the kiss, the kiss that Gun always gives whenever Off helps him, on his cheek or his neck, now matter how small his help is, has his heart blooming in an unknown direction and has him feel both tingles and unsettled. Just like how his cheek is feeling the tingle from Gun’s peck earlier. </p><p>Taking a deep breath to calm his erratic heartbeat, he glances at Gun’s sleeping face for the last time and tries to sleep. </p><p> </p><p>That night, he dreams of laughter that is so familiar and twinkling eyes looking at him. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hello, congratulations for reaching the end of this first chaptwe KSKSKKSKS i kind of did this on whim when i was listening to heather and i was oh ???? OFFGUN AU?? </p><p>Also this is my first time writting something so apologies for my...messy writtings and plots. English is not my frist language so tou can see a few here and there grammar error so forgivw me for that (╯3╰) </p><p>Leave some kudos and comments!!! I LOVE VALIDATION!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Off is muffling his yawn during his morning class when Gun’s texts come up, asking if he can borrow his orange white striped shirt. Replying his consent, Off shifts his focus to the lecturer in front of the class. Well, he tries to, considering how his mind keeps thinking of Gun swaddles in his shirt, two sizes larger than him.  </p><p>Feigning interest by scribbling on his notebook, he continues to think about his whole dynamic with Gun. </p><p>Despite them being roommates, Gun is the last person he would think he will get along with. Gun is so sparkling, with his ability to be friends with almost everyone he ever encounters and tells funny, interesting stories. His weekend night activities are even a contrast to Off’s, where he would rather stay in his room doing nothing, while Gun would rather go out with his friends that sometimes worries him with how late he comes back. He always lies saying he has not finished his movie list yet when Gun comes back late, asking why he is still not asleep. He always make sure Gun is safe asleep on his bed before he switch off the light and </p><p>His mind drifts back to the time when Gun tried to get to know him when the semester opened. Off really didn’t try his best in being buddy buddy or indulge in Gun’s attempt to get close, not trusting Gun yet at that time. </p><p>But their friendship somehow spiraled up from there, from Off confessed his fear towards balloons and Gun held his arm as a form of comfort when they had to attend one of the college’s dinner, full with balloons decoration to him offered himself to put his hand into the box filled with bugs and worms that Gun hates to retrieve their clue for next station. </p><p>And their kiss routine is not even intentional in the first place. Off was still feeling the soil to find the small piece of notes when Gun came close next to him and peered into the box. Hand still holding on Off’s arm as a protection, he tried to be helpful by giving directions whenever he saw a glimpse of white paper. </p><p>“I got it! Got it, got it!” Off chanted excitedly when his fingers finally felt the rough paper texture. Not realizing how his face was almost a breath away from Off’s, Gun turned his head to his roommate to cheer for him but pulled back when he accidentally brushed his lips to Off’s cheek. </p><p>Off, shocked, slowly pulled his hand out from the box and looked at Gun. Their staring  contest broke when one of the facilitators hurried them to go to the next station, not aware of what happened earlier. Glancing back at Off’s flustered face, Gun pecked on his cheek again. “As a thanks. For the box. “ He muttered and stood up to go to the next station, leaving one Off Jumpol breathless, with a small voice saying that he really, really likes the token of gratitude. </p><p>Ever since then, whenever Off helps Gun with something (or whenever Gun wants, really), Gun will reward him with a peck on a cheek. Or neck. Or both. </p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“What got your mind in the cloud just now?” </p><p>Off looks up from his food to face Tay chewing his food. “Nothing,” he denies, “I didn’t get enough sleep last night.” </p><p>Tay snorts and continues eating. “Gun had a problem sleeping last night?” He guesses. </p><p>“You know how it is.” Off replied dismissively, trying to ignore the teasing tone in Tay’s question, albeit, unsuccessful, seeing how he can feel his cheek heat up. </p><p>“Yeah, I know alright,” Tay squints his eyes and points his spoon at him,”You hate sleeping later than your scheduled time. You didn’t even care when I called you one time for an emergency.” He accuses. </p><p>He rolls his eyes at his friend’s dramatic accusation. “First, your emergency was you panicking as your lover boy said ‘I love you’ before you can say it.” Off gives him a look as Tay splutters how New ruins his plan to say that first. </p><p>“Second of all,” he continues, voices lower than before,”Gun has early class today. You know how he is when he doesn't sleep enough. And that is what a good roommate does. Help his roommate sleep.” </p><p>“Roommate in love, you mean?” Tay teases him, a playful smile on his face. </p><p>Annoyed with his smile, he wipes the water droplets condensed on the surface of his cup and wipes it to Tay’s face. “Shut up. I’m not in love” He denies, “I just like him. That’s all.” Maybe if he repeats it again and again, it will diminish whatever feelings that surge up last night. Fake it till you make it, they say. </p><p>“Liking him was you during your first year rooming with him. You, now? It’s love now, my friend.” Tay pats Off’s shoulder in an attempt to assure him. </p><p>“If a bond can be reduced, then this feeling can too.” Off says, shrugging off Tay’s hand. </p><p>Hearing that, Tay sputters and laughs loudly. “I thought you didn’t focus in class just now?” He says in between his laughs. “That is the most absurd comparison I have ever heard. A chemical bond to human bond? Ridiculous.” </p><p>After calming himself, Tay continues. “Reducing a bond means you need to add another bond. You can barely like people as it is, how are you going to delete a bond and give it to someone else?” </p><p>“Well,” Off looks down at his food, heart falls at his realization, “Gun has another bond to someone else. And I think that’s enough of a reminder that I don’t stand a chance.” </p><p>Tay blinks at the sudden mood change. Feeling guilty, he pats Off’s hand in an assuring manner and continues his meal.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wow can't believe you have reach the end of this chapter!! Hello, I promised myself to do this as one shot but Im scared with more than 1k words so here we go. Remember when I said I know how this story supposed to go? yeah guess what, i dont now. and im just winging it however i want since this is loosely based on my experience few years back. Pining on someone is not as fun as we thought! </p><p>Thank you for reading!! Hopefully you can see me updating this again, next week. or next time I get new inspiration LMAO</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“And then, he keeps smacking the table like,” Gun smack his hands slowly on the table they are eating, careful not to hit the tray and make a ruckus in the middle of McDonald, and Off laughs at his exaggerated movement. Seeing Gun pouts at him, showing his now reddened palm, Off takes his hand and rubs it slowly to soothe the pain. Gun continues his story with excitement and laughs and Off just sits there, adoration shined brightly from his eyes while listening intently to his story. Gun always says Off is a good listener with how he listens to Gun’s story or rant or anything he has to say, but, Off thinks, he just likes knowing the small little things about Gun, which makes him like Gun more and more without him realizing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With one hand feeding himself the fries, Off angels his body completely facing Gun so that he can focus more on his story. Gun is still in the middle of his scandalous gossip when Off hears someone slide the door open to the second floor. He ignores it as the door is facing his back and he doesn’t care enough to see who comes in everytime he hears the door slides open. He has better things to focus on right now, which, in his defense, Gun’s stories are much more interesting than anyone that climbs up to eat on the second floor. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was proven wrong though because turns out the new people that walk in deems as much more interesting for Gun, as he stops talking and has his eyes fixed on someone behind Off. Before he could turn his head to look at the newcomers, Gun stands up from his place quickly. “Oh, hey Jane!” He calls out, voice high and alert. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Off turns his head to see Jane signalling for her friend to find a table first before walking her way to their table. With smiles adorning her face, she looks as pretty as she usually looks like, even when she wears a simple shirt with a worn out sweater. When her eyes divert from Gun to him, her smiles get even bigger with mischief twinkling on her eyes, making Off feel uneasy with whatever that will come out from her mouth later. “P’Gun~” She softly croons at Gun when she reaches their table. One hand on Gun’s shoulder, and Gun smiling at her, with his dimples on his cheek, she asks,</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> “Are you two on date?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Off almost spits out the fries he’s eating when the question comes out. He quickly snatches his drink to ease up his throat and cool down the heat on his face. He also hopes the drink will dampen the tingling that rapidly moves up to his heart. He kind of doesn't want to see Gun’s reaction to the question, afraid that it will hurt his already broken, fragile heart but he has to pretend he is unaffected to protect his feelings from leaking out. Taking a deep, quiet breathe, he takes a sip and calmly lifts up his head to see Gun staring at Jane, speechless. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a second of silence, Gun laughs awkwardly at the question. “You, what are you-” he stammers, his hand reaching out for his drink on the table, but meets with empty air instead. He glances at the table and sees Off tightly clutching his drink. He pulls back his hand awkwardly and scratches his nose timidly, looking somehow shy, before Off could give back his cup. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Heaving out a sigh, Gun calms himself and pulls down the sleeve of his sweater,covering half of his palm. Seeing how Gun now has a sweater paw, Off can’t help but to coo inside his heart on how cute Gun is. His heart gets even giddier and warmer when he realizes Gun is wearing Off’s sweater. With his shyness now forgotten, Off thinks he really would give all of his clothes to Gun if he ever wanted to borrow it, if he can see The Sweater Paw.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You come with Ciize? Did you guys have an exam tonight?” Gun changes the topic to Jane, not admitting or denying the claim. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jane rolls her eyes at Gun’s attempt to shift the topic to her now. They continue to chat for a while and Off continues eating his burger, not wanting to disturb their talks. He is also actively trying to ignore how Gun is stroking Jane’s hand on his shoulder while she is chattering about her day. He swears he usually is not this jealous and should have remembered how it’s one of Gun’s habits to focus wholly on the other person physically and mentally, but his heart is not cooperating well with his mind right now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“- oh, and I promise I will give back this sweater to you later. Maybe after our exam, because the exam hall is so cold. I’m a summer child after all.” Jane pouts at Gun. Gun nods distraughtly. Jane steals a glance at Off when Gun pours out his fries to the tray. Flustered with the sudden eye contact, Off turns back to his burger. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pretends to scrutinize the burger while taking another look at Jane. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ah. No wonder it looks familiar, thinks Off as he eyes the grey sweater on Jane, two sizes bigger on her. Gun has always liked his clothes bigger than his size because it makes him feel comfortable since he is not good with cold. In both terms of weather and how people treat him. Seeing Jane wearing Gun’s clothes makes Off feel a bit bitter. Does Gun feel the same as how Off feels whenever Gun wears his clothes? Just like how he thinks that Gun is adorable and wants him to wear his clothes even more because he looks better in it? And feels like he wants to wrap Gun around his arm so that he can warm Gun better with his body heat when they sleep, or whenever they want to? Or - </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Off stops thinking when he sees how much energy he exerted on the burger, sauce dripping on his fingers and the burger is flatter than before. He groans and wipes his fingers with the tissue. He excuses himself to the toilet, leaving only Jane and Gun at their table. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he comes back, their table is now Jane-less, leaving only Gun alone at the table, pouring the sauce on his patty. Off looks around discreetly and sees Jane is with her friend, sitting closely next to her another friend. Feeling rather relief, he walks quickly to their table. He just wants to go back to their room already, without having anyone to disturb them talking anymore.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>alright so i eat my fries first before burgers bcs mcdonald's fries taste like rubber when it gets cold. Did they eat slow or their fries just wont, finish!?!?! LMAO but anyways im sorry for not updating this in a month :( my house was renovated the other day and im bed deprived enough to not have the energy to write anything. cant believe i manage to pull out 1k in a sitting tho. Also I posted this right after i finish writting this, so dont be shy to point out any mistakes or nonsense sentences! Thank you for reading this! and thank you for waiting...if there is any(??) but thank you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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